Mothers

Mother’s Day is March 21st here in the desert. I am lucky to have had several mothers in my lifetime and I’d like to give tribute to each one in my blog for this month.

Mama Minda who passed away in 1999 was my biological mother. She was a woman who made bad choices in life with regards to men. Fell in love very young and as quickly fell out of love yet burdened with children and elders to support, she had to hold the role of breadwinner for the family. She’s had her share of life’s ups and downs. Considered book smarts but not street smarts particularly in love. She was very strict and scary when angry but she could be the most romantic and ‘malambing’ mother, singing to you and cooking for you all the delicious desires of your stomach.

Nanay Conching is my maternal grandmother and was practically my mother from birth till I was three. Nanay took care of me because my mother was busy making a living. She was the light of my earliest years. My childhood memories are filled with her ministering to my every needs and whims. Now 80, she is in my thoughts still. I think of ways to make her more comfortable as she prepares herself to the next part of the journey.

Mommy Connie is my mother from age three till now. The mother of my heart. The voice in my head, my conscience, my ideal and the person I seek counsel and guidance from. She is a woman of strength and endless compassion. I admire her spirituality and her capacity to offer love and charity even when there seems to be none left. I pray each night that I never miss the opportunity to be by her side whenever she needs a daughter, a friend or even just someone to listen. I wish her the best of health as there are still so many who depend on her and that she will be blessed with financial riches as there will be no end to how she can share it and with who,

Mama Estella is my godmother, one of my parents’ closest friends. She like all the above women has the capacity to love and give so much of themselves and do not expect any in return but a thoughtful ‘thank you’ from the recipients. Her home was like our home and her children my own siblings. I think of them in times especially when I miss the good old days.

Mamu Ellen was my “mother” when I first came to the United Arab Emirates. She took me under her wings and helped me find friends and form a “sort of” eclectic family that one forms when living abroad. Her sons became my brothers and her house our ‘tambayan’ and second home. She’s now in the US and I wish we’d be able to share some time together when she visits the UAE.

Mama Baby is my mother in law. A shy, reserved woman who loves her family like no other and would stick by her husband through thick and thin. She is the rock that holds her own family together. In her own way, she has offered me support and love and is an email away for times when you just need to communicate with someone. I pray that she is always well and constantly happy.

Tita Mai is my husband’s second mother and my mother-in-law’s younger sister. She is the source of financial succor and the pillar that is the strength of the Korokans in the Middle East. I wish her endless joys and good health.

To all these women, I owe a part of me. I thank you all and to the many others who are mothers, sisters, daughters, friends...ladies I wish you a very happy, healthy, wealthy and peaceful mother’s day. May we always honour the women who bore us, loved us, held us, cared for us, taught us, cried for us, were strong for us, guided us, counseled us, advise us, believed in us, cheered for us, fought for us – us who are sometimes forgetful of all they’ve done and oft times unworthy of their love, time, efforts and energy.

Nostalgic of Tibak Days

Bahaw

Tumaba na sa alikabok
Ang aking aklat na pula
Abo na ang apoy sa puso
Ng aking pagka-aktibista
Panis na ang laway ko
Sa matagal na pananahimik
Bahaw na rin at malamig
Ang sinaing ni Nanay

Humpak pa rin ang pisngi
Ni Tasyong magsasaka
Pawis at nanghihina na
Si Pedrong manggagawa
Patay na ang pag-asa
Ni Neneng sa kakasayaw
Bahaw at basag na ang boses
Ni Isko sa kakasigaw

Malamok, malangaw, mabantot
Ang bansang aking kinagisnan
Maputik, mainit, maalikabok
Ang daan niyang sinusundan
Madugo, mahirap, masakit
Ang kasaysayang pinagdadaanan
Panis na ang bahaw sa mesang
Kaninang umaga lang sinaing ni Nanay

Don't you just have days like this? Don't even ask me to translate it...all these sentiments will disappear in translation.

Lalaki

Lalaki. noun. meaning man.
Lalaki. verb. meaning to grow.
Malaki. adjective. meaning big.

So aptly we call men in Filipino because the male genitalia do tend to “grow” when in a state of excitement. But and this is a but with quite a long, audible, pause. How big is big?

On average a Pinoy can harden to between 5 to 7 inches in length. More than that is above the norm. Less than that needs to be helped...or re-think his sexual orientation.

So why do we insist on calling the turtles lalaki? Ok, Ok, because it grows? But then again size is relative. When do you say that that is already “malaki”...as compared to what? The state of being “at rest”? Sooo confusing.

I’d rather men we called LILIIT. That way there is no pressure on the size. The focus would be on how small is could go...after “release”.

Another nomenclature to consider would have been TITIGAS or LALAMBOT because it does harden or soften but size would not be the focal point of the object.

Mala-saging, pahaba, ma-ugat are also more or less variations of a label that relieves the stigma on size being the end all and be all of all manhood. How liberating would that be when Pinoy men are all called TIGAS or mga KATIGASAN!

Whew, all this men-talk makes me suddenly want to go and grab a hotdog sandwich. Now there’s an object where size does matter. Which one would be more “filling” a foot-long or a Weiner? Your choice ladies.