English Expressions and why many of us make the same mistakes...

A friend emailed me this funny ala diary log of a girl who had some interesting stories to tell and told it she did, indeed, with matching colloqials, slangs and common English phrases and expression that were not so....

I've tried to put in the correct phrase or word, however in some cases, the semantics becomes muddled. But it is such a funny read - despite being quite long - so enjoy!.

We' ve been friends for a long time ago (for a long time). We come from the same alma mother (alma mater). Actually, our paths crossed one time on another (one time or another). But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. (beauty is in the eyes of the beholder) The pulpbits (heartbeat?) of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya.

And then, he came over with me (came over). He said, "I hope you don't mine (mind). Can I get your number?"

Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact (keep in-touch) daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong (correct me...) but are you asking me ouch? (out)

Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, "Aren't they obviously?! " (Isn't it obvious)

Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! (persona non grata) Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears. (buckets of tears)

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky (blessing in disguise) . Irregardless (regardless) daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch (out) na rin.

Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. (moot and endemic?) Thanks God (thank God) we swallowed our fried. (pride) Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time. (running out of time)

After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. (popped) "Will you marriage me?" (marry)

I'm in a state of shocked. (shock) Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! (it pours)
This is true good to be true. (too good to be true) So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor. (love is a many splendored thing)

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. (fell to pieces)

Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." (Look who do we have here)

What the fuss! (What's the fuss) The nerd ng babaeng yon! (the nerve) She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! (whatever it is, cut me some slack) I didn't want this to get our hand (get out of hand) kaya I had to sip it in the bud. (nip it in the bud) She accused me of steeling (stealing) her boyfriend. Ats if! (As if) I don't want to portrait (portray) the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! (tell it to the marines) I told her, "please, mine your own business!" (mind your own..) Who would we believe her anyway? (Who would believe her anyway)

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, (it's not my problem anymore but her's) tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. (coming up roses) I'm so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice (likewise). He's so supportive. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's our of our lives." (Look at it this way; she's out of our lives)

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. (you never can tell) Just burn the bridge when you get there. (just cross the ....) Life is shorts. (Life is short) If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion. (this is overkill!!! - more like just pray; I second the motion)

AT MAY PART TWO PA! IT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH AT IT IS! HAHAHAHA!!!

I thought Jay's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven only goes (...only knows) that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay received a uninamous text. (anonymous) "Meet me at the clinic".

I had a stinking feeling in my butt. (sinking feeling) I told him not to go. It might in danger him. (endanger) Pero sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. (...what we make of it) Tumahimik lang ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." (a penny for your thoughts) But I didn't know what to say. Beggars can't be losers. (...can't be chosers)

Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl yun. Jay said, "Can't got your tongue" (cat got your tongue) I tried to smile at him. Kahit di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba? (...speaks louder than words)

Be that as is may, (...as it may) umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole. (out of the loop) After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on Jeff's ears. (fell on deaf ears) Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. It's like, I don't know him and Adam! (...know him from Adam) Sabi na nga ba di na dapat umalis si Jay. That's what I'm talking about it. (that's what I'm talking about)

So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay. That's what friends are four (...are for) naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. (...a blank wall) I had to do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plug down rate. (flagged-down)

When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, 'I beg your cordon. (...your pardon) I'm patient. (I'm a patient? I'm impatient?) It's my favorite virtue nga e.' Nagduda yata yung isang guard. Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! (the nerve, unless he really is a nerd!) I shouted, 'Don't touch me not!' (Don't touch me) Buti na lang the other guards were nice and said, 'Come on, let's join us.' (Come join us)

When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. (...been there, done that) Nung walang nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a bird's IQ (bird's eye view) of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun. (divine intervention) Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. (torn) Di ko alam kung aalis ba ako o papasukin ko.

It made me stick in the stomach (sick in....) to think that Jay and his ex-girlfriend were there.I tried to tell myself to slower my expectations. (lower my...) But to tell with it! (to hell...) I had to strike while the iron is not. (...while the iron is hot) I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. (..the horse's mouth) I barraged in. (barged) O my gas! (My Gosh) Si Jay, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig (guinea...) sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. (on the brink of being cut? the edge of the cutting table?) He was bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriend niya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter. (...thicker than water)

Guess watch? (what) Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search and rescue Jay. (this is correct but sounds like a military op) Siguro adrenaline brush (adrenaline rush) na yun. Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I know it's a better pill to swallow your pride so it's forgive and forget me
not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put on makeup. (there's just too many here: it's a bitter pill to swallow; better swallow your pride; forgive and forget; all's well that ends well; kiss and makeup)

Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms persist, insult your doctor. (prevention is better than the cure; if symptoms persist, consult your doctor)

Better read up on English expressions and don't be caught saying something similar to the above!