Saturday, October 02, 2004

Far apart

I had my good cry last night. Suddenly, I missed my husband who is currently vacationing in Manila. It is times like this that I know for myself that I really care for someone....if I can cry for them or about them.

Somehow it is not as easy as when he was here. We only saw each other about twice a week at most with him working in Abu Dhabi, the capital of the UAE, which is a two-hour drive from Al Ain...but the knowledge that he is not available - at least not within two hours - really makes me sad.

So I did the next best thing. Burned the lines to talk to him. Fortunately, Manila is 4 hours ahead of the UAE so when I called him at 3am, it was already 7 o'clock in the morning and he was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee as his parents and siblings were getting ready to go to work/school.

It's the same feeling with my parents. There is this sadness in between the oceans and miles that separates us. I've been considering going home but where am I to pick up the peices of when I left my homeland? I left when I was 22 and now, I'm turning 33 this year. Somehow the fear of being out-of-work with a small daughter to raise is daunting, like a huge tidal wave that could engulf and possibly kill you.

So I am in quite a depressed mood today. Looking at the is exactly a week before my monthly "visitor". Perhaps it is just PMS kicking in. Better go get me a bar of chocolate then.

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