Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Gasping, Lisps and Stutters

Why is it that the word gasping sounds like you really do run out of breath? Also why do we call it a lisp when people who do have it couldn’t even pronounce it? Perhaps it is to determine if one really does have a lisp. The lisp test. When one walks up to you and says, “I’ve got a listhp.” Then you know, for sure that the person has it. Unlike other defects where one can say I’ve got scoliosis but actually their shoulders are just achy from too many mouse clicks on the Internet.

Most people with stutters have problems with what we call in linguistics as the “stops” that’s your /t/, /d/, /p/ and /b/ for example. So why call it a stutter when you know that surely, the person suffering from one would stutter?!?! Again the stutter test. “Do you know that I stu...stut-stut-stutter?” Yes. There is no other explanation. That must be the really confirm the problem.

So why not call bulimic people as “bwaaaaak”? So they can come up to you and say, “You know, I’m bwaaaaak.” and smother you with their vomit? I guess that would be too gross.

We have a funny way of naming things. Look at the word ‘abbreviation’ for example. Abbreviations are shortcuts for certain words. Why then is it soooo long? That’s five syllables for crying out loud (or typing really sternly!).

Yeah, OK. So maybe I’ve got some time on my hands to ponder on these things. It’s quarter to seven and I’m still at work. It’s a Wednesday meaning, American Idol’s on tonight. I’m rooting for Vonzelle and Bo but I think it’s going to be a showdown between Constatine and Bo – the battle of the rockers, so to speak. I’m still not counting out Carrie being an early favorite. But please, please, I really thing Anthony or Scott should be voted out – capisce?

Yes, I am. I’m a couch potato but if I had my way, and can name it with something nicer I’d rather call it a boxer. Someone who watches the box all the time – “I’m a boxer, you know.” Sounds really tough. Sometimes, watching these reality shows really is.

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